Day 35

Today I'm having a small pop-up photo event. My idea is to take basic portraits of people who support rape victims and stand against sexual violence and then make a collage of them for my exhibition. If you happen to be in Nuuk and seeing this today (May 4th), here is the Facebook event. You are welcome! I'm also having it in an empty, old house that's empty and basically abandoned and very beautiful.

I'm a bit nervous about it. Like it has been established, I'm not a very social person, plus when I'm nervous, my skills in English deteriorate really fast so basically I'm just umming and saying 'like' 20 times and then I maybe stutter. But I will try! I'm also a bit afraid somebody will come and make trouble because there's a certain group of people who can't stand women's rights being talked of, or made a big deal about. But I hope it will be okay. I'll take my Swiss Army knife. And there's also a big shovel there. I will deal. I can deal.

I'll be having a pop-up exhibition at the same place in about two and a half weeks. I don't have a lot of my stuff ready yet, but I have to go with the timetables I find, because there are a lot of other people involved. I'll be showing the pieces I've finished by that time, I guess. I'll keep working after that, I hope I'll be able to show the whole work in Finland later and maybe here too, someday. I'm doing a shoot on next Monday and hopefully at least one more next week. Two if I'm lucky with people's schedules.

At the moment, the working title of my project is Nipangersimaneq. It means "silence" in Greenlandic. Specifically a silence when people aren't talking. My original idea was "Silence of friends", from the Martin Luther King's quote: "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." But I like having a Greenlandic word in the title, to show that the project has Greenlandic ties. We'll see how this develops.

I've been thinking a lot about my future here, like about where I should go after this, what should I do. I'd want more education and more practice in photography but there's only school for that in Finland, or one that I think would teach me something new and it's notoriously hard to get into. There's one another I might consider but I'm not completely sure if it's good. The best one is obviously in Helsinki and I'd rather not move there. I like my nature and cold, northern winds. I can't really imagine myself fitting in Helsinki. Even if I'd somehow manage to get in to that school.

I'm sure there are a lot of great schools abroad but there's no guarantee I'd get in to any of those either and if I did, the money would be an issue, international schools are probably quite expensive. Plus I'm not sure how living somewhere else would feel. I can't really imagine myself living in a big city. I love traveling and seeing new places but I've learnt that I always need to have a home. I need to have a place that's mine, a cave I can crawl into and currently that includes my cat, my boyfriend and the apartment we live in. I need to have that place to go back to. I don't know if I could move all that somewhere. Probably not abroad, that's for sure.

I don't know. It's just something I'm thinking about. I want to study more. I feel really ignorant sometimes, I just need to learn and know more.